Beyond Male and Female

Ash Seymour had not discovered they were non-binary until they were a sophomore in college.

When they were younger, Seymour recalled a moment when they had to wear their male cousin’s clothes for the weekend during an unplanned stay. Seymour says wearing their cousin’s clothes made them “oddly happy”.

The first time they used they/them/theirs pronouns was at a conference held by Central Michigan University.

“We were going around the room, and everybody was saying their names and their pronouns and that was the first time I said my pronouns were they/them/theirs,” said Seymour. “I almost cried because it just felt really good to have finally said that.”

Seymour is also transgender and is currently going through Hormone Replacement Therapy, or HRT, for testosterone. Seymour has been taking HRT shots every other weekend for the past two months. So far, Seymour hasn’t experienced many changes quite yet.

“I think most of the side effects will be done changing in about a year or two”, said Seymour.

Growing up in a family that wasn’t homophobic or transphobic has made Seymour’s journey has been easier than most in their position

“A lot of people that are raised like that have to do a lot of internal thinking to be okay with themselves as they are, but I’ve never really had to do that”, said Seymour.

Seymour was studying abroad in Singapore when they came out to their mother about being trans non-binary. Their mother, however, already knew after following their twitter unknown to Seymour at the time.

Their mother helped them find a hormonal replacement therapist to start Seymour on hormonal replacement therapy. For Seymour, the process to starting hormonal replacement therapy has been short.

“I had a really great therapist. I went once but normally you have to go for several months before they prescribe estrogen or testosterone to you,” said Seymour. “My therapist was like ‘It’s not my job to tell you whether or not you’re trans so if you say you are i’m going to prescribe testosterone to you'”.

Seymour met their current boyfriend through Phi Sigma Pi, an honor’s fraternity on campus. Seymour and their boyfriend, Matt, started seeing each other after Seymour announced their split from their husband at the time.

Because of their close friendship, Seymour had been helping out with Matt’s son, Jax, early after he was born in January 2018. Matt and Jax’s mother have a troubled relationship and are not ‘fond’ of one another.

“Because Jax’s mother is still in the picture, what exactly my role and place is kinda ambiguous,” said Seymour. “I love Jax like he’s my own kid, but I want to be respectful of the fact that he still has both parents.”

In terms of their identity—especially in relationships—Seymour wishes people could understand the concept of being non-binary.

“When Matt tells people he’s dating someone who’s non-binary, they usually will ask him what my parts are,” said Seymour. “I feel like that’s because people still think in terms of male and female so they’re still trying to be able to place me in one of those categories when it’s not important information to know whether I have a uterus or not.”

Seymour also wishes people wouldn’t treat them differently because they are trans non-binary.

“I feel like you don’t have to treat or think of me very differently,” said Seymour. “It’s not as strange or new as people think.”